Grappige definities

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and
is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth
will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
CREDIT CARDS: Due unto others what my wife gets a charge out of.
SANDWICH SPREAD: What you get from eating between meals.
CAREER GIRL: One who'd rather bring home the bacon than fry it.
INFLATION: Something that cost $10 to buy a few years ago and now costs $20 to repair.
JAYWALKING: An exercise that brings on that run-down feeling.
PROCRASTINATOR: Man with a wait problem.
CREDIT CARD : The sweet buy-and-buy.
HUSBAND: A fellow who believes that his wife's constant chattering is just one of life's little earitations.