Agenda

17 / 18 december 2016

Charles Dickens Festijn.

In Deventer

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What if English Nouns Had Gender?


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The English language, unlike German and French, doesn't know grammatical gender. But what if it did? Which nouns would be masculine and which would be feminine? A few suggestions:

 

 

SWISS ARMY KNIFE
- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles of beer.

 

KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

 

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

 

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.

 

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and is often overinflated.

 

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

 

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

 

WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.

 

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

 

HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

 

HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

 

REMOTE CONTROL - female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider: it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying....

 

ZIPLOC BAGS
- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

 

PENLIGHT -- male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.



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Citaat van de dag

"Als een man genoeg heeft van Londen heeft hij genoeg van het leven, want Londen heeft alles wat het leven te bieden heeft.
When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life, for in London there is all that life can afford. "
- Samuel Johnson -
(1709-1784)
Engels schrijver.

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